Right before I fall Asleep

It's about midnight right now and I know I should be asleep by now but I just can't fall asleep. I know I shouldn't still be thinking about it, I know i did the right thing, right? I'm just not even sure anymore. I know my dad told me that doing this is the right thing to do; I know that somewhere deep down inside, but I just can't bring that feeling to the surface.

I couldn't stay in that environment anymore; nobody talks about it nor do they want to talk about it. Everybody just walks on eggshells around her. It's not fair. I want to be free and I want to be able to express what I am feeling about the situation, but I can't seem to find the right words. It's hard knowing that she has this problem and knowing that I can't do anything to help her through it.

I guess I could have handled it better but it was like I was in a game of tug of war except instead of a rope they used me. I finally just had to give up and go where I felt the safest. My whole world is about to go to hell because of what I did. I just have to keep thinking about what my dad told me "When you make some of the most important decisions in your life half of the people are going to agree with you and half of them aren't". I just hope I don't loose the people closest to me, because of what I did.